In my conversations with new leaders, a dilemma that often emerges is how to navigate the changing relationship within an organisation?
By changing relationship I mean from one where you are very much part of the 'gang' to being promoted to a leadership role, where you may have to hold others (formerly your gang!) to account, amongst other responsibilities, and basically, well, lead them!
For some individuals, this can be seamless, but for others, this can have its challenges. I know because I have been there!
Questions that arise, include:
“How do I handle friendships with former peers now that I’m their leader?”
“What should I do if a former peer challenges my authority?”
“How do I avoid favouritism while maintaining good relationships?"
Navigating any change in team dynamics can be made smoother if planned well, and with sensitivity and insight.
Here are some actionable tips to help new leaders gain respect and foster positive relationships with their former peers.
Acknowledge the change
It is important to acknowledge the shift or change. Do not avoid it - this creates confusion.
Try not to make it awkward for others - being open about the change and discussing it can help with the transition.
Acknowledge the change in roles and your commitment to supporting the team’s goals.
Set new expectations
You will want to balance friendliness with leadership. Setting new expectations and boundaries is key to fostering a positive professional relationship that everyone is clear about.
Be clear about your responsibilities and share these with your team. Do not overcompensate by being overly authoritative; aim for balance.
Be clear about your boundaries - what you will do and what you cannot do.
Stay clear from gossip.
Maintain trust and open communication
Be approachable and transparent.
Encourage open and effective communication to build trust.
Actively listen to your team and remain open to feedback. Invite questions from your team such as "What are your biggest challenges with this transition?" to demonstrate that you understand their fears too.
Earn respect
The last thing you want as a newly appointed leader is for any resentment or hurt feelings so meet with each member of your team and have an open discussion. Be aware of those individuals who may also be seeking promotion but have not yet got there.
Be reassuring. You are still their friend.
Share a little about your leadership journey to inspire, reassure or connect with your team at a deeper level.
Value your team and acknowledge their achievements - Help your team see how pivotal they are in the organisation's success.
Remember to appreciate each and every team member's contribution - thank you goes a long way!
Use your knowledge
You know your team members well, use this knowledge of their strengths to create a stronger team, and your knowledge of their concerns to make improvements to your organisation.
Trust your team to do their jobs - help them to succeed in their role.
Be credible
Build credibility through your actions. If you say you are going to do something, then do it. Do not make empty promises.
Do not forget where your came from - It is important for you to remember your role before leadership, and you sometimes may need to return there at times so that your team can relate to you and you can relate to your team.
Develop a support network - don't be lonely
Seek links with other new leaders and share your challenges. Get a coach, mentor or supervisor who you can offload to.
Leadership can be a lonely place. The 'gang' that you were once part of is still there but there are now different dynamics at play and it is never the same. It cannot be! Be prepared for this and seek the support of others, whether this is thorough social networking or in person events.
And, maintain a social life outside of work too. Your family and friends are still important.
Keep a record of your own successes and achievements
During your first steps into leadership it is important that you keep a record (whether this is a mental or written record) of all your achievements, no matter how small. This will help you in those days where your resolve may be waning.
Remember, you were appointed for a reason - others believe in you! so believe in your self.
Know, like and trust
In the coaching world we often talk about 'know, trust and like'. But this is also true of leadership.
Your team is on your journey with you and they will only go with you if they know, like and trust you.
Do not forget that you are still very much part of the 'team' so prove this through your actions and behaviours.
If you know, that transitioning from peer to leader may be challenging for you, then remember that this may be proving challenging for some of your team members too.
But if you focus your first steps in your new role in making that change as smooth as possible for all concerned, then you won't go far wrong!
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